LDS Humor Submission Guidelines


Share Some Humor  
(Published and unpublished authors
alike are invited to submit!)
 
Nichole Giles and Cindy (C.L.) Beck are actively seeking humorous, true, anecdotal stories of Latter-Day Saint goofs and gaffs at church, for a book that is being considered for publication by Covenant. 
 
Whether your story takes place in Sacrament meeting, Relief Society, Priesthood, Young Men and  Women, Primary, at a ward party, or at any ol' Mormon meeting (and face it, we have plenty of meetings from which to garner bloopers), we welcome them all.
 
We seek unpublished, narrative, nonfictional anecdotes that read like fiction. (See samples below.) Stories must be humorous, original, in English, typed, titled, and up to 170 words. You don't need to be a published author to submit, but if you are, we welcome your submissions as well.
 
There are no entry fees ... but then again, there aren't any prizes, either! Well, except for the prize of the opportunity to spread a little laughter, and a chance to get your name and website listed in a book that is being considered for publication by Covenant. Ooo, that means a possible publishing credit for you, too.
 
Selections for the book will be made by committee. Because of that, it won't do any good to call Cindy or Nicholeor to bang on their doorsbegging them to accept one more story. (Although we have heard whispers that some on the committee might consider a chocolate bribe.)
 
 
Guidelines
 
Submissions must be true, humorous anecdotes that have taken place at an LDS church or at an LDS church-related function. Stories must be UNPUBLISHED. Stories that have been previously published in books, magazines, e-zines, websites, blogs or other forms of publication will NOT be considered.
 
They must be double-spaced, titled, in English, with a word count up to 170.

We prefer stories written in 3rd person point of view (written as "he", "she" or "they", instead of "I"). We will accept a limited number of 1st person stories, but prefer 3rd person. See samples below.
 
They may not contain the names of the individuals involved (we don't want to get sued because Sister BlubberPuss and Brother ToeJams saw their name in print), and can not give ward or stake names.
 
Email submissions to LDSHumor@yahoo.com. No attachmentsplease copy and paste your submission into the body of the email.
 
One submission per email, but feel free to submit as many stories as you like. In fact, we encourage this! Include your full name, mailing address, email address, and phone number. 
 
DEADLINE: February 15, 2008



Sample Anecdotes
 
 
Big News
© Nichole Giles
 
In a crowded Relief Society room, a middle-aged wife—whose children were all teenagers—leaned over to her husband, her face intent as she said, "Honey, I forgot to tell you, I'm going to have a baby—"
As she said this, a sister from the ward tapped her on the shoulder.  The wife turned to talk to the sister, and didn't notice the shocked look on her husband's face at the big news she had so casually dropped. 
After finishing her conversation, she turned back to her husband, never noticing his now green pallor and sweating forehead, and picked up where she left off.  "I was saying I'm going to have a baby shower for my niece next Saturday.  Why don't you go fishing?"

 
Where are My Glasses?
© C.L. Beck
 
The bishop stood at the pulpit, a pair of spectacles perched atop his head. Another pair of glasses—feminine-looking ones that were at odds with his lean physique and farmer’s tan—sat on his nose. He held his notes close, and then moved them far away, trying to focus. Finally he said, “I can’t see a thing. These are my wife’s glasses—I can’t find mine.”
And the congregation responded in unison, “Bishop, they’re on your head.”
 



All images © 2007
ByTheBecks & Bumblebee Photo